Brokenness

You are so lovely. You have so much potential. Please don’t end up crumpled and discarded like so many of your brothers and sisters. That would be a tragedy. Yes, come with me. I will keep us safe.

With your radiant white face you called out to me, asking about my thoughts and dreams. With you my muddled words become a beautiful lullaby in black and white. You help me sing.

Your arms keep me steady and safe; though you also know that sometimes it’s worth the risk, drawing outside the lines. Sometimes lines are meant to be crossed, broken. That’s how new things come to be.

But wait, that hurts. I don’t want to break. No, I’ll stay inside the lines. It’s okay. We can make do. There are only a few notes we have to leave out. Our song can still be beautiful, if limited by bars of safety.

But how can something new come forth, if we forever stay inside the lines? Perhaps the break is needed to write the most beautiful song, to combine all the notes in a chorus of life. Because life isn’t life remaining in the comfort of one line. Boundaries are meant to be crossed. Lines are meant to be broken.

I guess I am meant to be broken too. Brokenness means a release of some part of you, a new shape come to light. Brokenness sings a new song, a song that brings truth with the pain. Yes, now I see I cannot live unbroken. And maybe, neither can you. But I think I see hope. Brokenness is beautiful too.  

Too Sensitive

Alice: "I thought that book was awesome!"

George: "That book was so lame. I'm not going to listen to your recommendations ever again.

Alice: "You don't have to be mean about it."

George "I'm not being mean; you're just too sensitive."


Yes, this scenario is a bit contrived, but I think it introduces the topic. Now I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that each person has a unique personality. Yes, I know all about the Meyers-Briggs 16-type test (I'm INTJ, if you're wondering), but even with those you get percentages of how strongly you adhere to each category, providing a still-discrete but more granular differentiation of personality types.

This post is not an academic article on psychology. I definitely don't know enough for that. But I do know that our personalities affect how we internalize, process, produce, and emit ideas. My simple intro dialogue is an example of the type of altercation that can internally crush (or at least really upset) someone depending on their personality. It's happened to me many times. I HATE the phrase "too sensitive," particularly because it most often has a negative connotation.

But what does it really mean to be " sensitive?" The Merriam-Webster dictionary (definition 3) describes "sensitive" as "easily hurt or damaged; especially :  easily hurt emotionally." That doesn't sound very fun, but the next part of the definition is "delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others." Sensitivity, as with many other attributes, is something that can be both positive and negative. I'd definitely like to be more perceptive in my interactions with others. I would also argue that sensitivity in this case is essential in at least three of the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5: love, gentleness, and kindness.

In his study Bible, John MacArthur explains that the type of love mentioned in Galatians 5, agape, means "respect, devotion, and affection that leads to willing, self-sacrificial service." If you have this type of love for someone, wouldn't you want to be aware of their feelings? Love yields sensitivity to others. There's got to be something good about it if it's a product of selfless love.

The other fruits of the spirit that come to mind when I think about sensitivity are gentleness and kindness. In addition to his description of gentleness as "humble... patiently submissive...teachable", John MacArthur also includes "consideration of others." The M-W dictionary defines consideration as "continuous and careful thought... thoughtful and sympathetic regard." It seems to me that it'd be difficult to have sympathy for someone if I don't recognize there's something bothering them in the first place. Sensitivity obviously precedes consideration and, more broadly, gentleness. Finally, kindness means "tender concern for others, reflected in a desire to treat others gently." This goes hand-in-hand with our idea of being sympathetic towards others.

I started this post as a sort of rant against people that are inconsiderate, who throw off any responsibility they may have in hurting someone by claiming the recipient of their words is just "too sensitive." However, I have found that I can view my excessive sensitivity as a gift. It may cause me to become hurt easily, but it also allows an increased awareness of the pain of others. I have two choices then. I can get upset and sad and angry and defensive when I am deemed "too sensitive", or I can accept it and thank God for His gift. So, yes, I AM too sensitive. I'll embrace it and try to develop and use the positive side of it to help others. I also urge you to find the natural strengths God has given you in your personality, because they are definitely there, and make use of those gifts to live and to love better.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm surprisingly quite happy with mine even though I'm sick. Watson and I are just chilling in my apartment, watching tv and thinking about what book we want to curl up on the couch with. :-)

Speaking of books, I just finished reading Mockingjay for the third time. I have to say I like it more and more each time I read it. I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about how Suzanne Collins chose to end The Hunger Games trilogy, but I like it.

Since, I'm sick (and a little lazy), I'm just going to list some reasons why I like Mockingjay instead of going into full-on essay mode. (Please forgive me.)

What I love about Mockingjay

• Girl power! :-) I love that a female, Katniss, is the face of the rebel war effort. She is a very strong character in all three books, but there's a transition in Mockingjay where we see her go from fighting for her own and her family's survival to fighting for her country as a whole. She sees the bigger picture and decides to fight even though it may cost her what she was originally fighting for. We see this a little in Catching Fire when she decides not to run off to the woods to get away from President Snow and his threats, but again there's something about a female being the driving force in a war that is really empowering to me. 
• Changing roles: A lot of people were really upset about Peeta's absence (physically and then psychologically) in Mockingjay. I missed Peeta, don't get me wrong, but I really appreciated this opportunity for Katniss to realize what she had in Peeta and to fight for him as he had done for her. Through really awful circumstances she learns how to love him unconditionally, and I think that's beautiful.
• Real characters: I really appreciate Collins portraying Katniss as a real, imperfect person. She doesn't always say the right things, think the right things, want the right things. She's conflicted. She gets angry. She's selfish at times. She often wants to give up. The story is so much more powerful because our heroine struggles, and even at the end she's not perfect. She's depressed, cautious, and scared, but she learns how to keep going anyway. To me that is much more inspiring than a character who does everything right and then lives happily ever after. That's just not real. But Katniss' story is real, and I can connect with it.

There are lots of other little things I love about Mockingjay, but these are the big three. Maybe they can help you appreciate the book a bit more. It really is a beautiful ending to a difficult story.

Also, I just saw Catching Fire in theaters. It was AWESOME! So true to the story. You should definitely see it! :-)

Something Cute

Watson likes to howl with sirens. :-)

Divergent!

The full Divergent trailer is here! :-)



I'm super excited (as you can probably tell)! I first read the book by Veronica Roth a few months ago and have read it 3 more times since then. I love, love, love it! I got interested in the young adult sci-fi/fantasy genre after reading The Hunger Games in May (yes, I know I'm a bit late). After finishing up that trilogy, I moved on to the Divergent trilogy, which has just been completed with Allegiant coming out in October. I fell in love with Divergent. 

Synopsis:

The story is set in a dystopian society of an isolated city many years in the future. The society developed a system in which each adult must choose a faction to support and to operate in. The factions were formed based on virtues believed to be most important for ridding the world of violence: selflessness, bravery, intelligence, honesty, and peacefulness. At age 16, each citizen undergoes a simulation test designed to reveal which faction the person has the greatest aptitude for. The teenager then gets to decide which faction he/she will join for life, often choosing the faction for which they have the highest aptitude. Tris, a 16 year old girl who is approaching her own "Choosing Day" tells her struggle of figuring out who she is and who she wants to be. 

There's a lot more to it, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it yet. :-)

What I love about the story:

The stubborn, tough tomboy in me would definitely choose Dauntless; it just seems fun. Also, I like tattoos. (I have 3 of my own.) However, nerd that I am, I'd most likely end up in Erudite. Still, I enjoy following Tris through her initiation journey in Dauntless. The thing I love most about her story is her determination to keep going, overcome difficult obstacles, and believe in herself. It was actually quite inspirational for me when I was (and am still kind of) going through a tough time. I read some of Roth's interviews about her book, and she mentioned having her own struggle with anxiety come through in Tris' story. I really resonated with that, dealing with anxiety myself. Tris' determination to keep going and to be brave reignited my motivation to overcome my own obstacles.

The Intro Post

Hi!

Thanks for coming to our blog! My boyfriend (until he proposes and marries me ;-) ) Peter and I (Rebecca) have been talking about starting a blog for over a year now, so this is me finally starting it. We pretty much plan to post anything we're interested in which includes but is not limited to:

• Book/movie/technology reviews
• Random creative writings (may include some poetry, maybe)
• Crochet patterns & baking recipes
• The occasional political discussion
• Personal experiences
• Pictures of our dog (He's super cute!)
• Science/engineering stuff
• Exercise/sports
• Etc.

I was going to write something up to "introduce" us, but I think you'll get a fair idea of our personalities, values, and interests through subsequent posts. Plus, we want to keep the mystery alive. I hope you enjoy reading our crazy thoughts on random things. We're going to have fun writing them. If you have any ideas for cool post topics (i.e. books we should read and discuss, an issue you want to talk about, etc.), let us know. :-)

To start off, here's a picture of our dog Watson. Isn't he precious?

Oh, and here's a picture of Peter and me, in case you're curious.