George: "That book was so lame. I'm not going to listen to your recommendations ever again.
Alice: "You don't have to be mean about it."
George "I'm not being mean; you're just too sensitive."
Yes, this scenario is a bit contrived, but I think it introduces the topic. Now I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that each person has a unique personality. Yes, I know all about the Meyers-Briggs 16-type test (I'm INTJ, if you're wondering), but even with those you get percentages of how strongly you adhere to each category, providing a still-discrete but more granular differentiation of personality types.
This post is not an academic article on psychology. I definitely don't know enough for that. But I do know that our personalities affect how we internalize, process, produce, and emit ideas. My simple intro dialogue is an example of the type of altercation that can internally crush (or at least really upset) someone depending on their personality. It's happened to me many times. I HATE the phrase "too sensitive," particularly because it most often has a negative connotation.
But what does it really mean to be " sensitive?" The Merriam-Webster dictionary (definition 3) describes "sensitive" as "easily hurt or damaged; especially : easily hurt emotionally." That doesn't sound very fun, but the next part of the definition is "delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others." Sensitivity, as with many other attributes, is something that can be both positive and negative. I'd definitely like to be more perceptive in my interactions with others. I would also argue that sensitivity in this case is essential in at least three of the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5: love, gentleness, and kindness.
In his study Bible, John MacArthur explains that the type of love mentioned in Galatians 5, agape, means "respect, devotion, and affection that leads to willing, self-sacrificial service." If you have this type of love for someone, wouldn't you want to be aware of their feelings? Love yields sensitivity to others. There's got to be something good about it if it's a product of selfless love.
The other fruits of the spirit that come to mind when I think about sensitivity are gentleness and kindness. In addition to his description of gentleness as "humble... patiently submissive...teachable", John MacArthur also includes "consideration of others." The M-W dictionary defines consideration as "continuous and careful thought... thoughtful and sympathetic regard." It seems to me that it'd be difficult to have sympathy for someone if I don't recognize there's something bothering them in the first place. Sensitivity obviously precedes consideration and, more broadly, gentleness. Finally, kindness means "tender concern for others, reflected in a desire to treat others gently." This goes hand-in-hand with our idea of being sympathetic towards others.
I started this post as a sort of rant against people that are inconsiderate, who throw off any responsibility they may have in hurting someone by claiming the recipient of their words is just "too sensitive." However, I have found that I can view my excessive sensitivity as a gift. It may cause me to become hurt easily, but it also allows an increased awareness of the pain of others. I have two choices then. I can get upset and sad and angry and defensive when I am deemed "too sensitive", or I can accept it and thank God for His gift. So, yes, I AM too sensitive. I'll embrace it and try to develop and use the positive side of it to help others. I also urge you to find the natural strengths God has given you in your personality, because they are definitely there, and make use of those gifts to live and to love better.
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